The Doesn’t Make Sense File

by anonymous

I am opening up a “This does not make sense” file. These are the first things going in:

1. When you show a G rated film the trailer should also be G rated. Otherwise you scare the little children.

2. It is a good idea to give the teachers some idea of what they will be teaching next year a few weeks before the end of term. There are no students in and we are all sitting around twiddling thumbs and wasting time for 14 days. ( Yes I counted.) So why wait until the last day of term to let us in on the big secret?

3. When someone orders a latte or a cappuccino or even a frozen caramel macciato there is no need to ask if they would like an extra shot, hazelnut syrup or a slice of cheese cake. If we wanted those items we would have asked for them.

4. During a prize giving ceremony you ware not meant to just leave when your child has a prize. It is polite to wait until the entire event is over. Otherwise we have an awards ceremony that resembles Waterloo train station.

5. If you drive too fast you will hit a palm tree and die. We saw the aftermath of this accident the other morning. It doesn’t make sense. There are over 20,000 road accidents a year here. There are less than 1 million on the island. Something is wrong.

6. Watching the movie “Prime” on local TV the other day I made note of something interesting. This a movie where Uma Thurmon’s young hot lover turns out to be the son of her therapist played by Meryl Streep. Certain words are deemed wholly inappropriate by the censors. Asshole and Bitch are excluded, left blank or replaced by a beep or a messy silence, but the F word is left to hang in the wind. But during the speech where Meryl Streep’s character bemoans the fact that her son is dating a non Jewish girl I noticed something very alarming. Had I not seen this film before I might never have known why she was so upset, other than the fact that her take on a Upper West Side New York Jewish mother is played to stereotypical perfection. The word “Jewish” is edited out of the movie. It is deemed a word as wholly shocking as the zinger Asshole. But of course, you can’t say a word for something that doesn’t exist, can you now.

7. Sitting in a car that doesn’t move for one hour during the morning rush hour because a group of protesters, ( called “Thugs” by the Ministry of the Interior on their Twitter page), has set fire to a line of tires laid across the highway. Does this make any one more sympathetic to the protester’s cause? Doesn’t make sense.

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